VOICES IN THE HEAD

From the eyes of a Psychotic..... His world, his imagination

There are voices in my head,

which are loud and they bled.

screaming names, places, people unknown,

And I stand here, at the edge all alone.

They say don't react, do not act,

these people wearing white coats will wrack.

And i m afraid, oh, I am so scared,

They keep mocking, calling me impaired.

I'm so fed up, oh, I am so dead,

Am i really sick in the head ??????

*voices in my head: auditory hallucinations

*people wearing white coats: Doctors, Psychiatrists, Psychologists, Nurses

Spectacle of Love.....

Recently, the near by park in sector 35 where i stay witnessed a strange spectacle. A baby monkey, strayed from his family, came hoping from nowhere. Scared of chasing dogs, the monkey used to climb up a tree. This went on for a few days until the dogs left their pursuit in sheer frustration.

One of the dogs, however, kept up his pursuit  he was seen looking "passively", with his tail wagging (a sign of love) towards the monkey sitting on the tree. i was there constant and keen observer. The dog with his proverbial smelling power smelt and realized that the monkey was in dire need of love and had made this park his very abode.

The dog realized his "aura" (force of love) towards the baby monkey on the tree. It caught the forceful "aura", came down the tree and sat beside the dog. It was a moment of revelation. Their comradeship began like between two humans. one day, I saw the monkey scratching the back of the dog and then the dog taking his turn. and they were always seen playing and frolicking.

The dog, used to his life with the baby monkey, would wait eagerly in the morning for the monkey to appear. And they had a good time for a quite a long time. then one day came the anticlimax. The monkey suddenly disappeared. The dog waited anxiously but all in vain. He became depressed and crestfallen.

One day, as I was walking in the park, I saw the dog lying in a pit near the pathway with closed eyes. As I passed near him he sensed my presence and hardly opened his eyes and said to me, as if, with the meek and half opened eyes, "You very well know how much I loved the baby monkey. I wish him good luck wherever he is. Yet, I want him to come back and sit on my back and scratch it softly or even harshly, as he used to do earlier.

The dog comes to our home quite often. And I try to share his sadness by means that I know. But now, I miss the dog............For I do not see him any more. 

BPO: Bada Pakau Office!

Harleen Kaur, the BPO executive, get a “shrink”

lecture – and, guess whaaaat ??????

IT WORKS!!!

Santa ji is a happy man these days. He can’t believe somebody is actually willing to pay money to his daughter for doing something that she only earned scolding till now for – talk endlessly on the phone. Yes yes…!! Santa ji’s daughter got a BPO or a “call center” job recently. Even though I suspect he does not have a clue about how call centers work, he can’t stop telling people that she’s so busy that international clients don’t let her get “off the hook”.

Whatever the excitement, it did not seem to last long and Santa ji looked visibly stressed when I passed him by the other day.

So, I met up with Harleen and man, did she look tired. “what struck you”, I asked, adding that I expected her to transfer overnight into the “COOL BPO – TYPES WITH FIRANGI ACCENT”.

“Arrey baba, don’t ask. I love the job and all, you know. But the timings are so weird. They have changed my shift thrice by now, swapping between day and night timings. I think my body has got so confused that it has stopped responding”, she sighed. Looking into her sleep deprived eyes, I instantly knew what she meant.

So often does one see these friends, sleepy like hell in the backseat of their Qualis and Gypsies in the wee hours of the morning – and just not communicating with each other. It’s not rocket science to understand that they are paying a heavy price – that of their physical health and calmness, for that hip lifestyle and cool salary that the BPO job brings, I know one can’t dispute the importance of call centers as a sought after workplace and can’t wish away the unavoidable timings.

So, here is my peacefulness mantra for all my call center friends like Harleen Kaur.

I know you all would counter that by saying that will all the fun things in the cool corporate environment BPO’s offer, you already have access to fun things – a pool table, a gymnasium, a grrreeat café. But, there’s a difference in having access and actually using them to unwind.

Moreover, infrastructure can hardly make up for the stress caused by lack of human communication. Be sociable in whatever time you get – make a rule to crack a joke with colleagues after every 4 calls you take, spend weekends in family outings (basically let them know you exist and are not just a noise they hear when you sneak in at 3am), work out (and not just feel happy that your office has a well-equipped gym), listen to soothing music, go out – break the monotony, travel (like two of my dear friends, married for 4 years and dating since a decade – Aarti and Gaurav – you are an amazing couple <3 )  and most importantly learn to talk while on your way back from office. You are anyway going to hit the sack as soon as you reach home, why lose the precious little chance of interaction you get.

Harleen went “humming” after I shared my pearls of wisdom. (Well, ok, let’s call it a lecture). And Santa Ji is a happy man once again!!

PS: I tell everyone that I am very lucky to have

a “day job thing”. 

But after watching movies and chatting on text

messages, I look as tired as Harleen does after

the night shift. And Harleen gets to sleep during 

the day. WHAT LUCK !!

IF ONLY YOU COULD BE MINE!!

It’s not abnormal to fall for someone unattainable; it is to think that you need to do something about it.

I am going to write on a sensitive subject. I don’t think Santa Singh could give any advice on this one. In fact I don’t think even I can. But the problem is so pervasive, particularly among the adolescents and young adults that this stress can’t be ignored. Pick up any agony aunt column in a magazine or newspaper-what’s the most common question? ok, all those whose mind went straight to “I masturbate 400 times a day, will it make it weak.”-please kick yourself twice for having a one-track mind and the rest stay on with me. The most common question is, “I am in love with someone who I can’t be with (either he/she is super-hot celebrity, or already married, or in a relationship with someone, or simply not interested). How do I try to deal with this stress.”

Well my answer is ……don’t. Yes…….as a first step, don’t try to deal with it. Accept that it’s not abnormal to fall in love with someone who’s totally out of your league-he/she could be a film star, your boss, your teacher or even your best friend’s caring wife (who, by the way, seems caring only as long as they are someone else’s). What’s abnormal, or rather a cause of concern, however, is when you start to think that you need to do anything about it. Or when you begin to develop a complex because of not being able to attain the object of your desire.

Santa Singh’s teenaged daughter Harleen Kaur, who has plastered the walls of her room with the posters of Brad Pitt, having neatly cut out Angelina Jolie from all of them, was fine till she started scribbling “Mrs Harleen Kaur Pitt” 100 times on the back page of her school notebooks and began a ‘sixteen Monday’ fast (solah somvaar) to ensure that Lord Shiva somehow gets Brad on the next flight to Faridabad sector – 37. Now that’s where she, and millions like her need to be told that the “feeling of feeling for someone special” is borne out of your own thoughts and not binding on you somehow getting that person in your life. In most cases, what we are in love with is not the person, but the perception of him/her in our minds. The one who seems an epitome of perfection to us from every angle may be an annoying monster to those who actually have him/her in their lives. If those film stars were like the best gifts God could give to their partners, why would there be divorces or separations in their relationships?

The calmness trick, if you are also hopelessly in love-in your thoughts-with someone who cannot be yours, is to positively enjoy that feeling and not go on an overdrive to take it to a level where it ceases to be a ‘healthy’ crush. You have to set your own boundaries. Writing fan mail every day or waiting for hours to get an autograph is okay-slitting your wrists to write a letter in blood, or not appreciating your own partner for not being ‘as good’ is so not done. Fantasizing is great, getting obsessive is crazy!! Take your pick.

P.S: I’m getting a treat today. I called up Santa ji’s residence and asked for Harleen Kaur Pitt !

 

EMBRACE THE MOMENT !

Life never gives a second chance fr anything whether its bout mourning over ruins or gratitude for something good done by someone. life just knocks at the door once; either u act upon it or let it go forever....

 

i remember there have been several times when i wanted to apologise but i didn't due to my stupid arrogance. there have been times when i wanted to show gratitude; again i didn't, delaying it fr some other time. and i forgot the worldly wisdom: my child, live this moment and relish the day......

 

but nw i have realised the value of doing the right thing at the right time and at the right moment. i have been able to give direction to all my thoughts. i am thankful fr even the minutest happening in my life, and show gratitude to whatever someone does fr me. if it's my mistake, then its my sincere apology, fr sure.....

 

we always have the tendency of leaving things fr the future even if they r confessions to ur loved ones. why don't people confess when the time is right and they r definite about their feeelings, whether its feeling of love, happiness or apology. we r here fr this moment and we are sure just about this moment....

 

life gives us many signals showning that the time is right and we  may proceed in our task but we r so busy thinking bout oue future or the next moment that we don't respect this very moment. we ruin the time given and when the time is gone, we mourn....

 

one must learn to respect this moment, live it fully and cash it coz this moment will  ot be coming again. respect time and u will earn respect frm the world. there is a saying "past is history, future is mystery and this moment is a gift and thats why its called present".....

 

sieze the present given by life with joy and happiness, so that the essence of gift is doubled by our acceptance, not ignored by our apprehensive nature. one has to be sensitive to all this, and it is a long learning process.....

my life according to porcupine tree

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 10 people including me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat song titles. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "My Life According to (BAND NAME)"


Pick Your Artist:

Porcupine Tree.

Are you a male or female?

Lips of ashes


Describe yourself:
stranger by the minute

How do you feel:
shallow


Describe where you currently live:
cloud 0


If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
arriving somewhere but not here

Your favourite form of transportation:

I drive the hearse


Your best friend is:
nine cats


Your favourite colour is:
colorflow in my mind


What's the weather like:
halflight


Favourite time of day:
sleep together ;)


If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
strip the soul


What is life to you?
the incident


Your current relationship:
waiting


Breaking up:
waiting phase Iwaiting phase II


Looking for:
wedding nails

Wouldn’t mind:

the sound of muzak

Your fear:

this long silence

What is the best advice you have to give:

the creator has the mastertape

If you could change your name, you would change it to:

bonnie the cat

Thought for the Day:

a cure for optimism

How I would like to die:
drown with me


My motto:
the rest will flow

Despair is own creation !

There is really nothing to be done to be happy or joyous. If u stop creating misery, you are naturally happy or joyous. Being joyous is not something u do, it is your natural state of being. But u create misery through your thoughts, emotions and other aspects of u being out of control.

                   There r many ways to see how one can come out of the present patterns of creating suffering. Suppose today u r not peaceful. The first thing u might do, could be a quarrel with your spouse, or your mother or father... the next thing may be your yelling at your neighbor. Then u will realize it’s time to go to the doctor, he will give u a pill. This pill is made up of chemicals.

                 You put these chemicals into your body, your body and mind become peaceful. So one way of understanding this is, what u call as peace has a certain kind of chemical background to it.

                 Similarly what u call misery, fear, anxiety, everything has a certain chemical basis. as there is  a science for external wellbeing, there is a whole science as to how to create ur inner chemistry. yoga has many methods through which u can create the right kind of chemistry where being peaceful and joyous comes naturally to u.

                 Human beings have been creating suffering, misery, fear and insecurities unconsciously. y r we creating them and how to leave them behind ? We do not have to leave our fears and insecurities because they do not exist. The fundamental reason y fear has arisen in u is coz u r a little human being and u do not know the beginning or the end of this vast creation.

                As long as u r identified with the physical body, as long as ur experience of life is limited to ur physical and mental faculties, fear and insecurity r inevitable. Only when a person begins experiencing life beyond his limitations, only then he can be truly free of any sense of insecurity or fear.